You may be puzzled as to what these 3 things: Recalls, Rejuvination, and Redirection have in common. But as my story unfolds you'll see very clearly how these 3 things really do relate to one another in the view of God's eyes. Being recalled means that something or someone cannot be used anymore because it is dangerous in someway and must be fixed at once. Rejuvination is being refilled and refreshed with rest, energy, and peace of mind. Redirection is to stop the way you are going and take a completely different route or direction. And methaphorically, God recalls, rejuvinates, and redirects each of us as we grow closer to him and become more like him. He is "fixing" us in the areas we need help with, giving us rest in his presence, and redirects our paths to follow him. Through these things He is crafting and shaping us into the person He would have for us to be. It was in the next chapter of my life that He worked on me through these very ways. Some metaphorically, some not so metaphorically...
It is now the spring of my senior year and the senior prom is right around the corner. I am doing great as I am able to play basketball and do everything I did before with now having my pacemaker and I am doing very well on my medication with my seizures. By this time I have gone months without having a seizure!
I came home from school one ordinary day to see a message blinking on the answering machine. It was a nurse from the hospital that I had my heart surgery done at. She simply asked us to call them back but stressed that it was urgent and important. This had my parents and I worried. Usually we are the ones to the call the hospital..... not the other way around!
So we call the hospital back and hear SHOCKING news.... SHOCKING. The doctor gets on the phone and starts off by saying "I'm sorry but I have some bad news." I'm like oh great! He then says "The good news is your pacemaker is ok, but the bad news is your pacemaker has been recalled." I was like a deer in headlights. I was like WHAT?!?! RECALLED?? Are you serious? I felt like a broken car part. He then explained that the pacemaker I have is having problems because the wires are falling out of the pacemaker in other people. The good news was I was ok at the moment, but they wanted me in for surgery ASAP! It was the middle of the week, like a tuesday, and they were ready to schedule me for Thursday or Friday.
But I, with my teenage mind, wasn't having it! I was like oh no.... my senior prom is this Friday and I WANT to go. If my pacemaker is ok, then we can wait til AFTER the prom. I look back now and ask myself "what was I thinking." But as every teenage girl looks forward to the prom, so did I. My mother and I had sewn a dress just for me to wear and I wanted so bad to be able to go and wear it. I had it made up in my mind that I wasn't going to let anything ruin that night for me! So that's what happened.... I went to my prom Friday night and had an absolute blast... and then was in for surgery Saturday morning.
After hearing the news over the phone, all I had in my head was "Again?" Really? I can't believe this. God, why am I going through this all over again? And recalled? Are you joking? This is completely out of no where. I could have never seen this coming. And then I had a little one on one time with God. But ultimately, through my time with God, I came at peace knowing that I will not know why and that I don't need to. I just need to trust God because He knows the plans of my life and this is just another chapter- a mind blowing chapter at that. The Lord even tells us in Jeremiah 29:11- "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." So I knew all that God is doing in me is for a hope and future, not to harm me, and just trusted Him with that simple fact. HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING AND I DON'T NEED TO KNOW OR UNDERSTAND! I JUST NEED TO TRUST!
When I went into the surgery this time around, I could tell that my faith level with God had grown. I had trusted my life into God's hands once before that it made it a whole lot easier to trust Him again knowing that He knows what He is doing. I fully surrendered my life to Him knowing and accepting that He could take me if He wanted to and had joy knowing that the outcomes of both were going to be glorious! I would either wake up and see my family or wake up and see my heavenly Father! So I continued to trust Him through this surgery and God was very faithful! It was a great success!
This also was a time God used to strengthen me in my walk with Him! He continued to put me through "trainings" I like to say. Just like a personal training makes you do things you would never choose to do yourself to help you get fit. God puts us through "trainings" or trials that we would never choose to go through ourselves to teach us more about him and how to live our lives fully for Him. We are able to get spiritually fit and stronger in the Lord and in our faith, knowledge, and understanding of him! That is why I would never trade these experiences for the world. This is who I am and this is how God has molded and shaped me into who I am today!
I want to encourage all of you... whatever you are going through, whatever "training" or trial God has you in at this very moment, just surrender and TRUST God! You could be going through a terrible health diagnoses, a death in the family, a financial crisis, losing a job, a break up, troubled children, relationship problems, you name it. Whatever it is, I pray that you may be able to surrender and trust God with it! Let Him fill your heart and heal your hurts! My pacemaker being recalled came way out of left field and I got to the point where I just chuckled because it was so bizarre and knew that this was only God. I didn't understand it, I had no idea why, but I trusted Him! It's in most scenarios that we have to stop trying so hard to figure out the whys and just be content with not understanding because we cannot comprehend the mind of God! Stop looking at the problem and trying to figure out the whys, but look to the God of heaven who knows you by name, who formed and created you, and who loves you deeply- more than anyone on earth could love you, and who has an amazing plan for your life. LOOK TO HIM AND TRUST HIM! Just surrender the questions and know that God is doing a great work in you and trust him to help you through it! He has "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a HOPE and a future." Just hang on to Him. Let Him build in you the strength and endurance of faith, hope, peace, love, and joy that only He can give you!
In Jeremiah 29, after the Lord tells He has plans to give you a hope and a future it goes on in verse 12: "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity." HE WILL HEAR YOU AND HE WILL FREE YOU!!! He will get you through your situation! So SEEK HIM! And TRUST HIM!!
I will continue sharing with you what happened next through the stories of my rejuvination and redirection in another post! So stay tuned for part 2!
Meanwhile, I want to leave you with this- music has been a huge part of my life and God has used it to speak to me and minister to me. So here's another song that God used in my life! Be Encouraged!
Worth it All- by Rita Springer
I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways
Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I needI will say to You
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
Here's a link to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQVmR0jV52A
I'm living by God's heartbeat,
Loving Recklessly,
Becky
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