God knows how much we can bear. He will truly never give us more than we can handle!
Shortly after my pacemaker was recalled and I had surgery, I was walking across the stage receiving my high school diploma! It was such a great victory for me! From there, I was on my way to Ohio in August for college! I was so excited as I got accepted to Cedarville University to major in Education with a minor in bible! It was truly the school I wanted to go to!
My four years at Cedarville were amazing and also life changing. They were amazing because for once in my life, I had no health problems! I was able to live a normal college life without hardship or worries about my health! I was completely seizure free all four years! Praise God! And my pacemaker and my heart were in great health! God truly knew I needed that time. I really couldn't handle any more health problems and truly needed time to breathe and rejuvenate. And that's exactly what the Lord blessed me with. I was actually able to make close friends at Cedarville. I only had aquaintances in high school because I was so sick and always embarrassed of my seizures. At college, I was able to drive, play in the symphonic band, play intramurals, join and lead different ministries, and become totally involved in school and in my friends' lives. I truly made life long friends. I really felt like I could breathe again and I was actually alive. I was rejuvenated!
It was also during my time at Cedarville that my life was completely wrecked- in a good way! I always knew I wanted to be a teacher and was having a great time taking my educational courses. However, I kept hearing others talk about this Urban Ministry class and it continued to peek my interest. Thankfully, I was able to squeeze it into my busy schedule the fall of my senior year and my life has not been the same since.
The first thing our professor, who I call Papa C, had us do was be homeless for a weekend. Yes... you read that right. Homeless. In order for us to really understand the problems and struggles faced in urban communities, Papa C had us experience it. And this was where my life was wrecked and completely turned upside down. I had everything stripped of me but the clothes I had from the salvation army and a bag. I was hot during the day and cold during the night. I had to sleep outside in hopes no animal would crawl over me and that it wouldn't rain. I experienced the painful struggles of hopelessness, hunger, despair, rejection, sleeplessness, anger, and the difficulties of survival when you are homeless. I had no idea where my next meal was, where I was going to sleep, angry at the world for feeding their dogs better than I was eating, angry at the rejection and looks of disgust people gave me when they looked at me, and felt hopeless as to if it would even get better. I scared myself when I didn't even want to hear about God or His love because all I wanted was breakfast. I started to see people in a different light. I wasn't afraid to talk to the man on the corner. I wasn't against giving someone a dollar because I knew what it felt like to need it. And it was when I had nothing when I didn't mind sharing my food with someone else. I realized I could never "pull myself up by my own boot straps" in these circumstances and that many people I talked to became homeless because of circumstances out of their control. I was full of mixed emotions.
The rest of the semester, Papa C helped us navigate through our emotions as well as show us the dilemmas many people are facing in the United States right now, today, especially in our Urban and Rural Communities. It is as if our country is ignoring our own people. How is it that between all the well-developed countries in the world, the United States has the MOST children in poverty? In the United States, 22 percent of children live in poverty. I know there are third world countries in way worse conditions than us, but this is still not right. It doesn't make this ok. Something needs to be done for these families.
And then Papa C said something I will never forget... "You can take any job and use it for the city." And that's it. It was like God was speaking right to me. My heart was so passionate about this injustice that I knew I would take my job of teaching and use it in the city to change lives. God showed me how education is literally the gateway to a better life. And the children in urban communities around the United States are getting an unfair education as they don't have enough resources and many of the good teachers don't want to teach there because of x, y, and z. I wanted to go and teach and give every child that enters my door a fair chance and opportunity to life.
God completely redirected my paths. I was no longer comfortable just living in the suburbs. I was anxious and passionate to get into the city.... where my heart truly beat. So upon my graduation at Cedarville University I was offered a job in Brooklyn, NY and I jumped at it!
So why share this? I wanted to share this to show you that God knows you and loves you completely! He knows how much you can handle and He knows when to give you a break! After 6 hard years of health trouble through middle school and high school, God gave me break and gave me a chance to rejuvenate! And rejuvenate I did! So just know, where ever you may be on your journey of life, God will provide for you a way to rejuvenate, a chance to relax, a chance to breathe, and to just sit in utter peace with Him. Even if you're going through the toughest of times right now just hang on! You can make it! God will pull you through it! And on the other side will be a place for you to rest! So keep your head up, keep trusting God to get you through your battle, for we can already claim our victory with Him! And then be reassured that in God's timing, He will give you a place of rest and rejuvenation!
I also wanted to share this to show you how if you let God lead your life, He will direct your path! He will show you the way to go! Just have a heart in love with Him and He will do the rest! I never thought when I was younger that I would be living in the city and loving it! Gosh, I didn't even think about it when I was a sophmore in college. But I gave my heart to God, and He completely wrecked it in such a beautiful way where I fell in love for the things His heart sings for. I became passionate about the struggles and injustices in the inner city and God equiped with me the tools He saw fit and then led me to Brooklyn! So all I can say is give your life to God, trust Him, and let Him use you in the exact perfect way He has planned for you! He'll wreck your life in the most beautiful way!
I want to leave you with a verse that God used and continues to use to speak to me in my life!
Isaiah 40: 28-31
Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Just look to Him and He will give you all the strength you need and more! He will rejuvenate you and give you a place of rest!
I'm Living by God's heartbeat,
Loving Recklessly,
Becky
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